What you’re thinking and doing when you can’t sleep could be making it worse!


In this episode I’m going to share:

  • 6 things you can do to help you relax so you can fall back asleep faster whether it’s at bedtime or the middle of the night, including,
  • 1 supplement that can help, 
  • And an important mind hack that will help you stay calm.
  • And 3 things you may be doing that are keeping you awake even longer.


This is an episode from a couple of years ago but I want to share it again because it has some invaluable tips that can immediately help you get more sleep.


Schedule a consultation to get started with the Complete Sleep Solution program so you can consistently sleep 7+ hours uninterrupted, naturally and permanently.


00:00 Introduction to Better Sleep

00:41 Meet Martha Lewis, The Sleep Detective

01:15 Personal Sleep Struggles and Solutions

02:12 Client Success Story: Cindy's Sleep Transformation

03:20 Six Tips for Falling Back Asleep

03:23 Tip 1: Find Your Happy Place

04:04 Tip 2: Use a Sleep Mantra

06:06 Tip 3: Breathing Exercises

06:58 Tip 4: Try L-Theanine

08:53 Tip 5: Get Out of Bed

11:18 Tip 6: Accept That You're Awake

13:24 Three Things to Avoid When You Can't Sleep

15:25 The Complete Sleep Solution Program

16:10 Conclusion and Next Steps


Episode Transcript


What you're thinking and doing when you can't sleep could be making it worse. In this episode, I'm going to share six things you can do to help you relax so you can fall back asleep faster, whether it's at bedtime or in the middle of the night, including one supplement that can help and an important mind hack that will help you stay calm.


I'll also share three things I hear many people tell me they're doing that I know are keeping them awake even longer. So you don't want to do these things. This is an episode from a couple years ago, but I want to share it again because it has some invaluable tips that can immediately help you get more sleep.


I'm Martha Lewis, aka The Sleep Detective. I'm a functional health coach and have helped myself and over 200 clients find and fix the root causes of their sleep issues in both the body and the mind. This is the sleep detective podcast where you will finally understand why you can't sleep and how to fix it so you can consistently sleep seven to nine hours uninterrupted without drugs.


Hello smart sleepers. Welcome to another episode. Now I wake up almost every night to pee and then I go right back to sleep. But when I wasn't sleeping well, I wouldn't be able to fall back asleep for hours. And this was so frustrating. I remember just lying in bed feeling so desperate because I was so friggin tired, but I couldn't sleep no matter what I did. It just didn't make any sense. And so there are some things that you can do to fall back asleep quicker in the middle of the night.


These things can also help at bedtime as well if you have trouble falling asleep. So, if you've listened before, you know that I help with the underlying health issues that affect sleep. But there are also some things you can do now to try and fall back asleep more quickly. And if these things don't work, then it is time to dive a little deeper into what's going on in your body that's keeping you from sleeping normally.


I also want to tell you about my client, Cindy, who sleep improved in the first two weeks in the complete sleep solution program from making some of these simple changes. So she filled out her check in form for only her second session. And one night she said she wasn't able to get to bed at her regular time because the guy who relieves her at her job showed up over two hours late.


But she did the breathing techniques we recommended and got out of bed. And was able to get to sleep. She reported that she had improved nine out of 10 and that she was so glad she joined the program. This is in just the first couple of weeks. Throughout the program, she realized that she was unknowingly doing things that were sabotaging her sleep.


And so now she knows that watching movies after work, not taking time for herself and relaxing, not meditating, listening to rock and roll music later in the day. And having bright lights in the evening were all impacting her sleep. Of course, we also had to address the imbalances in her body as well, but making these simple changes helped her get more sleep immediately.


But let's get into these six things to do. So number one, I want you to think of your happy place, your relaxing place. So I do this now because I still get up and go to the bathroom almost every night and I come back to bed. And a lot of times I just fall asleep immediately. But if there's even a minute or so, then I like to think of the beach.


Now, I'm a mountain girl, I live in Jackson Hole, this is my home, but I find the beach so relaxing, and so if I can just picture the waves crashing on the shore, and the sound that they make, then that is my happy place. So I recommend finding your happy place. And the second thing I suggest is repeating a sleep mantra.


So one of the things that I say when I get back in bed is, I love sleep. And I just curl up into the fetal position and think that, and I can feel how good that feels to think that. Right, like there are these feel good chemicals, these neurotransmitters, these hormones that when you think the word love or something positive like that, like your body literally releases those things.


So that one is what works for me. I like to say I love sleep. Now. If you don't have a great relationship with sleep, that might not work for you. So you do want to find something that resonates with you. I've had clients really like thinking I'm sleeping because we talk about how when you're in the lighter stages of sleep, if you were woken up during those stages, half of the time you would say that you weren't even sleeping yet.


And Maybe this has happened to you. This happens to me sometimes where my husband tells me I'm snoring and I'm like, I am not, I'm not even asleep yet. But obviously I was, if I'm snoring, which happens really, but I don't realize it. And so this has been found in sleep studies that people who have insomnia, who have trouble sleeping, they underestimate the amount of time that they are asleep.


And they think it's because that they're in these lighter sleep stages that don't always feel like you're fully asleep, but you are sleeping. So I had one client, my client Burton in particular, who really liked remembering that and just thinking I'm sleeping. Something else you could use is I'm so comfortable, or I feel relaxed.


Again, anything that is going to Help you feel good. And that also feels believable in the moment. So coming up with that sleep mantra and then just repeating that, while you are going to sleep can really help. Number three, the third thing you can try is a breathing exercise. And my favorite exercise, you breathe out or exhale for longer than you breathe in or inhale.


And so making your exhale longer than your inhale actually relaxes your nervous system, which is going to slow down your heart rate and calm your mind. It's actually how we breathe when we are in a calm and relaxed state. We just don't realize it. So for me, this usually looks like I breathe in for a count of five, and then I exhale for a count of six and do that for a few rounds.


And then I Keep increasing the exhale to seven counts to eight counts and so on. So you can start whatever feels comfortable for you, but just have your exhale at least one count longer than your inhale. All right, for the fourth thing you can do is try L theanine. So L theanine is a precursor to GABA, which is our anti anxiety hormone.


Now, I usually don't recommend trying supplements without knowing that you need them. But I think this is worth a try for a week or so to see if it helps you even if you haven't been tested for GABA levels. Now I do recommend a liquid L theanine if you're taking the middle of the night because that way you absorb it really quickly and it's going to start to work a lot faster.


And I do suggest L theanine instead of GABA because GABA shouldn't cross the blood brain barrier. So most supplements of GABA aren't going to get to the brain where you actually need it. So by supplementing with L theanine, your body can convert it to GABA in the brain. So if you have these symptoms of GABA deficiency, anxiety, worry, fear, like that's a big one since GABA is our anti anxiety neurotransmitter.


Also muscle tension, especially in the shoulders, neck, and jaw. Insomnia, early morning awakenings and restlessness. Any kind of mood, things like short temper, phobias, impulsiveness, disorganization even gut issues like reflux, IBS, and diarrhea, things like hypertension, tinnitus, chronic pain, migraines allergies, frequent urination, sweating and salt cravings.


So these are some of these symptoms of GABA deficiency. So if you're experiencing insomnia and some of these other symptoms, it could be that this is part of what is going on for you. Now, I do want to warn you, you don't want to take GABA support. If you're taking antieleptics, benzodiazepines, or other sleep meds, or if you've had too much to drink.


Now, the fifth thing I recommend, and this comes from cognitive behavioral therapy, is to actually get out of bed. So you don't just want to lie in bed when you can't sleep. You want your brain to have the strong association that bed equals sleep. And so for people who've had trouble sleeping for a long time, Your brain starts to get this association that bed equals lying awake, feeling frustrated for hours in the night.


So again, we want to break that association and have your brain equal bed with sleep. So when you get anxious, and this is because if you get anxious and stressed while you're lying in bed, frustrated because you can't sleep, your body's going to release cortisol, which is going to make it even harder to fall asleep.


So what I recommend doing is not looking at a clock, but if you think you've been awake for 20 or 30 minutes and aren't going back to sleep, then I actually suggest you get up out of your bed and leave your bedroom entirely. And you want to go to a comfortable and lowly lit space. So you want to keep the lights dim.


You still want to tell your body that it's nighttime and you want to do a calm, relaxing activity. I would always read, but you could stretch, you could do a crossword puzzle. If your mind is racing about something that could help to journal about that and do these things until you feel sleepy again, and then go back to bed.


And if you don't fall asleep and again another 20 or 30 minutes and get up and do this again, and you might have to do this a few times the first few nights to a week, but eventually your brain is going to get used to bed equals sleep. This is where I sleep. Bed does not equal lying down.


I have clients who have tried this or are resistant to trying it, and so I really encourage that you try it and give it a good couple of weeks, because what I found is that for myself and for many of my clients, you can get more sleep by doing this. So I would always fall asleep faster if I got up, even though it's hard to get up, I get it, but I would always get sleepier faster and go back to bed and get more sleep than if I just laid awake because I would just toss and turn for hours.


So I encourage you to try this if you haven't and give it a good two weeks to assess before you say that this is or isn't for you. Now the sixth thing I suggest is to actually accept that you're awake. So in the moment, there's nothing you can do about the fact that you're awake. So getting anxious and upset is not going to help.


It's going to make it worse. Now, I remember crying in the middle of the night multiple times just because I was so exhausted. I was so desperate for sleep. I was so frustrated. So I know this is easier said than done, but this is how. One bad night of sleep doesn't spiral into weeks and months and years of bad sleep.


It's just accepting in the moment that this is happening. You can't change the fact that you aren't sleeping in that moment. So the only thing you can change is your experience of it. So if you accept that it's happening instead of resisting it, you aren't going to get upset, frustrated, and anxious, which is going to sabotage your sleep even more.


So, I have a weird night every once in a while because no one's sleep is perfect all the time. And I try all of these tips and if I have to, I get out of bed, I read a book. I don't worry about how I'm going to feel the next day because I'm always fine. I don't try to figure out what I did wrong that day that affected my sleep like I used to.


Instead, I just told myself I'll be fine tomorrow. I'll fall asleep soon. And then I get to enjoy reading my book. In the moment. So one night of poor sleep is no big deal and knowing that keeps me from worrying about and sabotaging my sleep the next night. So while in my program we're looking for underlying health issues that affect sleep, we're also helping our clients change their relationship to sleep.


So again, so one bad night doesn't spiral into many more bad nights. And this is so key, even while we're addressing physical imbalances. So now let's talk about three things you don't want to do when you can't sleep. You don't want to try to get out your energy. So I've had someone tell me that this is what they do.


They get up in the middle of the night, they go for long walks, they walk around their house. It's they're trying to get it out. That is just telling your body that it's time to be awake. And it's actually increasing cortisol, which is going to keep you awake even longer. So instead you want to do whatever you can to relax and actually calm your nervous system, which I've talked about in a, previous episode.


You also don't want to look at screens. I'm sure you've heard this, but this means no phone, no TV, no tablet, et cetera. I mean, you probably know that the blue light from screens raises cortisol. It suppresses melatonin. It tells your body that it's daytime. But even if you wear blue light blocking glasses, watching TV and scrolling on Facebook is going to make you feel wired and it's going to cause stress even when you're tired.


And so this is why I recommend keeping the lights dim and doing something relaxing that doesn't involve screens. You're going to fall asleep a lot faster. You also don't want to get up and work. So I have a friend who does this, that whenever they can't sleep, they just decide to get work done.


They might as well be productive. But again, this is telling your brain that it's time to be awake instead of asleep. And it's going to keep you from being able to fall back asleep quickly, and it can get your brain into the habit of waking up in order to get more done. Now, the truth is, you probably need more of a break from work than you need to do more work.


If work is what's on your mind, it's probably from overworking. Not from underworking. So I suggest setting really strict boundaries about work time and off work time so that you feel more relaxed overall, which is going to help you sleep better. Now, if these tips don't help most of the time, then there are hidden health issues that are keeping you awake.


There's something going on in your body. And so that's why the complete sleep solution, my team and I, we use functional lab tests to find what those physical imbalances are. We're looking at gut health, liver function, hormone balance, nutrient deficiencies, toxins like heavy metals, anything that could be affecting sleep.


And we also are going to make sure your mind doesn't sabotage your sleep with stress and anxiety. So this is really the only natural body and mind program that gets to the root of why you can't sleep. And if nothing else has worked, it's time to get to the root of the problem. So you can book a free consultation with me to talk about what's going on with your sleep, find out how the program works and get started today so you can start sleeping better soon. Thanks for listening. And I will talk to you next week.

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